Month: June 2013

Paternity leave anyone?

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We all know someone who has had a baby and taken maternity leave. Six weeks of baby bonding time between mommy and baby. Sweet. Now how many of you know a male who has taken his paternity time? That one takes a lot longer to think about and you’ll probably draw a blank. I’ve always known it existed, it only makes sense that a father be given the same opportunity as the mother, however most men don’t take the opportunity. The thing is, if you live in California like me, you live in one of the two states (the other being New Jersey) in the US that actually pays men to take their bonding time (55 percent of their salary)! 
While talking to different fathers, the most common responses to the bonding time question (for the most part) fell into two categories:
1. they didn’t know bonding time existed
2. they knew about it, had the choice but declined it
Number one needs no explanation. They simply didn’t know. Number two was very interesting. The most common reasons were fearing that they would be overlooked for a promotion at work, would be viewed differently by male coworkers and couldn’t imagine themselves being home for that long. All understandable reasons except for the last one. Some said they would actually have to do “stuff” if they stayed home and they wouldn’t be able to cope. Some of the wives even said they’d prefer if their husbands didn’t stay home as it would only cause trouble in the relationship. 

                                       
Whichever way you think you would feel about it, i thought the topic was interesting and I could see all sides to the argument. Z is on his third week of bonding time. Thus far it has been really nice having him home, especially seeing the relationship that Natey and Z have developed in the last weeks. I remember a fellow mommy asking me how I felt about Z being home for that long prior to the break. I told her I thought it would be fun but I definitely had my reservations given that Natey and I have a well established routine. We know what days we do what, what time he sleeps, when he has alone time…and if any of you are mothers, you know any kind of change can cause major disruption to the civil order. But it has gone too well. I love having Z home, granted I now have more work since I’m cleaning up after two 24 hours, 7 days a week, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world (even though I have had my meltdowns!). 
                                    

Z can’t figure out why it’s not ok to leave shoes all over the living room, why dirty clothes must go in the hamper, why we can’t leave pots and pans (used for drumming time) in the middle of the kitchen floor, why we must do the bed in the mornings, why it’s not ok to play so rough in the bathtub that the water ends up flooding the bathroom, why watching the baby means watching the baby and not starring at the television or phone. There is much Z doesn’t understand (and believe me it drives me insane) but I love having him home. Watching the two men in my life fall more and more in love with one another is the most beautiful thing.
        

Anyway, when you have your baby make sure you know everything you can take advantage of, either you or your partner. If you can, take the time, do the extra work (mommies) and enjoy the immense love that will shower your home with a little bit of thunder, of course!
                                   

Diapers, shirts, shorts, sweaters, toys…

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Momma Karla

<!–[if !mso]>st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]–>I recently saw an ecard (which I can’t find now) of a mommy doing twenty things at one time. Although she looked amazing doing it, it is physically exhausting. I think I’m feeling a little bit like the cartoon character. But it may also be the stress of travel. On Tuesday my family sets out on a three week trip to Switzerland, Italy and Croatia. Although very fun it’s always difficult traveling with a baby. Well, let me rephrase that, it’s the getting to your destination and returning that is the REAL stresser.

Cabo San Luca, Mexico
Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
When we went to Cabo I learned that traveling in a big group with a baby is AWESOME! We had at least 11 people on our flight so all I carried was the baby and my diaper bag. Although a bit hectic, it was definitely made easy by all our loved ones. We learned a couple things on this trip, the most important lesson being to expect the worse so that nothing is a surprise. 
Upon arrival in Cabo, the baby went bananas and nothing would settle him down. To our surprise we were met by the longest customs line ever! We literally waited for over an hour. In effort to make the baby more comfortable we tried to set up the stroller only to find that it had been broken on our flight down. I was tired, sad and angry about our stroller and long wait, especially because this was my favorite stroller. We also only used half the things we brought for Natey but at least I had the peace of mind that in case of an emergency I had it all. Natey really enjoyed Cabo, four walks a day, infinite swim time and endless Nana and Auntie Dee Dee.
Swimming in Cabo
San Francisco
This trip was a little difficult because we had a lot of stuff to carry, not to mention the car seat and stroller. I snapped at Z at the counter as he kept asking me for a copy of Natey’s birth certificate even though I literally couldn’t move with all the stuff I was holding. The flight itself went well until our return when the airline lost Natey’s baggage. Good thing they didn’t lose it on the way over! There was nothing I could have done differently to avoid the loss. My eyes watered when all the bags were out and Natey’s was nowhere to be found but I was so exhausted I only mourned the loss with one tear. 
Natey’s flight back to Los Angeles from Cabo
It was this trip that made me realize how many more things I would be carrying around for a three week trip. Good thing Z and I have taken Natey with us everywhere because with every trip we’ve taken, be it near or far, we’ve always learned something new. 
Anyway, I probably should get back to packing and listing everything I still need to purchase. 
Have a good night everybody!

337 days later…

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Our little munchkin turned 11 months! It has been eleven months full of joy and many lessons learned. We just got back from our first camping trip since Natey’s arrival. And I mean tent sleeping, communal restrooms and campfires as a source of warmth. Although very fun, Z and I learned five days of camping is 3 days too long for a baby that is no longer just sitting and not yet walking (mental note for the next baby!). 
 So now that we’re back home we are beginning to prep for our Europe trip. We have exactly five days to get everything together before we board a 12 hour flight! Yes, I said 12 hour flight. But that’s a story for another day. 
Today’s post is about 11 things I love about Natey, so here we go: 
1. The way my little one twirls his little feet when he is trying to settle into sleep (just like mommy)
2. The way he loves being chased around by his daddy all around the house, yelling in laughter
3. The way he makes his pouty face knowing that it will melt your heart 
4. The way he laughs out loud when you come towards him while saying “toes, toes, toes”…knowing very well he is going to be tickled to death
5. The way he goes crazy when he sees his nana or grosi
6. How impatient he gets in music class when Ms. Sarah brings out the piano and he knows he needs to wait his turn
7. The way he points his little finger to show you what amazing little thing he wants you to look at
8. The way he so lovingly kisses his little friends
9. The way he sits up in his bed at night slowly sobbing while putting his arms up for me
10. The way he stands by the door every morning waving out 
11. The way my little monkey cuddles in bed with me every morning, placing his little head right inside my arm while looking up at me with a priceless smile
Natey you melt my heart. 

The birth of a father

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“Baby listen to me, we only have a little more to go, you can do it, ready, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten, release.” Even counting now makes me a little tense; taking me back to July 24th, 2012. I had been pushing for almost three hours to no avail. I was starting to feel extremely exhausted and my strength was beginning to waver, but Eric wouldn’t look away from my eyes; my hand was gripped tightly and I could feel him squeezing tighter as he supported my neck to assist in my pushing.

More nurses walked into the delivery room and I sensed something abnormal was happening but my cool was kept as my husband made me focus on him and the beautiful gift we were moments away from receiving. Minutes later, after what felt like years of pushing, the little Zurbrugg was born with eyes wide open and a big wet welcome for nurses. Z and I looked at each other and he said, “we did it baby.” And that we did.

Z never left my sight from the minute I went into labor, coached me through every inhale and exhale, and held me tight through every painful contraction. Once Natey was born, he helped me change diapers and held me as I fed our little gift of God every 15 to 30 minutes the first 72 hours. I was in love with Z before Natey’s arrival, but loved him even more the minute Natey arrived. It was then I knew that Z was not only going to be a phenomenal husband, he was also going to be an amazing father. Z turned out to be my unofficial birthing coach. I guess all our lamaze classes paid off! Especially since Z seemed to be the RN’s favorite, always volunteering us and asking the hard questions!

Although I like to think that I do a good job of thanking my amazing husband for all that he does, I would like to take this wonderful day to say thank you! For the purpose of time, I will only list my top five thank you’s 😉

  1. Thank you for always kissing me good bye on your way out
  2. Thank you for standing by my side in the middle of the night when Natey is having a difficult night even though you could be sleeping in our warm cozy bed
  3. Thank you for working so hard for me and Natey
  4. Thank you for your random love calls throughout the day 
  5. Thank you for making us the happiest little family 
                                                                     We love you Eric!

                                    Happy Father’s Day to all the great father’s and father’s to be! 🙂 

The frightening moments of my motherhood

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Being a mommy has been an amazing experience for me, a journey thus far filled with joy, learning and some scary moments where I felt fear like I’ve never experienced it before. In the past ten months I’ve had three episodes that I will never forget and in each happening I have reinforced a lesson every mother learns very quickly; trust your gut. 
When Nathan was born he swallowed too much amniotic fluid (fluid found where the baby resides inside), but I didn’t know. The whole first night Nathan chocked on what I thought was his saliva and me and Z sucked out everything in his mouth with a suction bulb while we placed him on his side. I didn’t sleep the entire night thinking if I fell asleep Natey might choke to death. I was so tired I didn’t even think of asking the nurse if it was normal although it felt abnormal. The next morning Natey had his stomach pumped and that was the end of that. 
 
                                                          

When Natey was four weeks old I found a blood spot in his left eye while I was nursing him. I was humming and caressing him when I saw blood. My heart sank, started beating excessively, my eyes filled with water and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. Needlesstosay, I was in the emergency room for infants in no time. It turned out to be nothing more than a ruptured blood vessel caused by Natey’s work through the canal but I was happy I had it checked out.
                                                          

Earlier this week Natey was feeling a little warm. His top teeth are coming in so I figured his warm head was being caused by his incoming teeth. But then that night it got worse when I woke up in the middle of the night and he was burning up. I took his temperature with three different devices and they all said he was fine. Z took his temperature too and told me to calm down that Natey was fine but I had a feeling that he wasn’t ok. I was at the doctors office the next morning and sure enough he came in at 102.7. Natey had caught some bug and his body was fighting hard to get rid of it. He’s a lot better now and Z thanked me for not listening to him and going with my instinct.
                                                            

I remember being sick when I was little and my mom and dad not leaving my side for days. My mom looked really sad and I never understood why until this week. Natey being sick made me feel helpless, sad, and like an unfit mother ( I know this isn’t true) but a sick baby makes you feel like someone tied your hands and prevented you from communicating. All you can really do is do your best, especially if you’re a first time mommy like me.
To being great moms!