Being a mommy has been an amazing experience for me, a journey thus far filled with joy, learning and some scary moments where I felt fear like I’ve never experienced it before. In the past ten months I’ve had three episodes that I will never forget and in each happening I have reinforced a lesson every mother learns very quickly; trust your gut. 

When Nathan was born he swallowed too much amniotic fluid (fluid found where the baby resides inside), but I didn’t know. The whole first night Nathan chocked on what I thought was his saliva and me and Z sucked out everything in his mouth with a suction bulb while we placed him on his side. I didn’t sleep the entire night thinking if I fell asleep Natey might choke to death. I was so tired I didn’t even think of asking the nurse if it was normal although it felt abnormal. The next morning Natey had his stomach pumped and that was the end of that. 

 

                                                          

When Natey was four weeks old I found a blood spot in his left eye while I was nursing him. I was humming and caressing him when I saw blood. My heart sank, started beating excessively, my eyes filled with water and my hands were shaking uncontrollably. Needlesstosay, I was in the emergency room for infants in no time. It turned out to be nothing more than a ruptured blood vessel caused by Natey’s work through the canal but I was happy I had it checked out.

                                                          

Earlier this week Natey was feeling a little warm. His top teeth are coming in so I figured his warm head was being caused by his incoming teeth. But then that night it got worse when I woke up in the middle of the night and he was burning up. I took his temperature with three different devices and they all said he was fine. Z took his temperature too and told me to calm down that Natey was fine but I had a feeling that he wasn’t ok. I was at the doctors office the next morning and sure enough he came in at 102.7. Natey had caught some bug and his body was fighting hard to get rid of it. He’s a lot better now and Z thanked me for not listening to him and going with my instinct.

                                                            

I remember being sick when I was little and my mom and dad not leaving my side for days. My mom looked really sad and I never understood why until this week. Natey being sick made me feel helpless, sad, and like an unfit mother ( I know this isn’t true) but a sick baby makes you feel like someone tied your hands and prevented you from communicating. All you can really do is do your best, especially if you’re a first time mommy like me.

To being great moms!