I was recently asked this question and I believe with my whole heart that this person honestly meant well. They simply did not understand what the loss of a daughter can do to a mother’s heart. They didn’t understand loss. The question, however, brought up a very important topic, death.

Most people, I have discovered, are very uncomfortable dealing with death. Most react a couple ways: They try to avoid you all together, keeping conversations to a quick hi and bye, avoiding eye contact throughout the entire interaction. Then there are those that will talk to you and say nothing about your loss. Others will ask you every question they can think of and then give you their advice as to how you can get “better”. My favorite are the ones that simply inundate me with love, even if we were just acquaintances prior to Emme’s passing. Obviously there are plenty of other reactions but in my experience most people fall into these four.

Everyone just wants to make you feel better so they say anything they think will. But I find that honesty is the best way to approach a grieving parent. There are no words and simply saying so is more than most of us expect. A smile, a hug, a shoulder to cry on…all are better than words.