Last night I couldn’t sleep thinking about Emme. I tossed and turned all night imagining her in my arms.
This morning as I sat in church, tears couldn’t stop streaming down. I felt a mixture of emotions. I tried to focus on the sweet moments we shared, running through them over and over. I could feel my smile take over my face and then tears would follow, knowing my arms were empty.
I held on tight to God, and cried to him to strengthen me and inundate me with love. You see, he is just as sad as I am, He wanted me to have her too.
My heart is filled with sorrow. But I am hopeful. I know I can’t see the purpose, but I will. I know the pain I feel is devastating, but it will feel better. Emme, my sweet baby girl, gave me joy and continues to do so.
So when I wake and can’t seem to find light, I think of Emme and her joy brings me back. I hear “You can do it Mommy, You can do it!”
Confessions of a Wife, Mother & Cook 