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| Nathan loving on Emme |
When you lose a child, there are very few people who can understand your grief. The struggles of every day life that overwhelm a grieving parent are a lifelong journey. They never go away. Ever. And although every parents grief is different there is something about being together that no one will ever understand but a grieving parent. There are things you can say that no one would understand unless they have suffered and survived their child’s death. There is a comfort that your fellow grieving parent can provide you with, that frankly, no one else can. There is a connection so deep, (and believe me you don’t want to ever have to have this relationship) that you can’t even compare a life long friendship to a friendship you’ve only had for a couple months with a parent who has experienced a loss.
Eric and I were blessed to find the MISS foundation the month Emme passed. We were guided to it by a friend. It became our salvation. A group no one wants to be part of (as our group leader always says) but we are happy to have when we need it, if ever. This group of parents showed us compassion, love and an open forum where no subject was off limits. We were all victims of the same thing, the loss of our beautiful children.
Our loss brings us together once a month, allowing us to cry and let our feelings be known, all while receiving comforting words of encouragement, that we too, will one day allow the sun rays to come through when our hearts are ready. That joy will pierce into our canvas when our hearts are ready. That we too, will enjoy life, once again. It will never be the same as it was before, with all the innocence we knew, but we wouldn’t want to know joy without our beautiful gems. We wouldn’t want to have been without them. Months, years, days…anything we had with them, was worth living. I would relive everything I have these past 11 months for those beautiful 8 days I was able to hold my Little Giant.
Grief is not linear, although almost every book out there would have you believe it is. It is NOT 5 simple stages. You don’t stop grieving once you reach the fifth stage. You may never feel the fifth stage! Grief is an individual road, with similarities, and all is acceptable, days, months, years past your loss.
I am grateful for my new family, even if they don’t know they are part of me now. There are many people who played a role and continue to do so in my healing, and although they don’t know it, I am grateful and bless their lives every day I am able to wake and take in a breathe of air.
xoxo
In loving memory of Jackson, Alexandria, Sophia, Theo, Lily and Emme.
Confessions of a Wife, Mother & Cook 