Elea Mackenzie Zurbrugg was born two weeks ago. As we begin to adjust to our life with Elea, I finally have the time to look at the pictures of her birth. For some reason, the picture above makes me break out in tears. All the kids look exactly alike. This picture definitely takes me back to Natey’s birth, Emme’s first embrace and Elea’s magical arrival (I say magical because the delivery could not have been more relaxing!) where we both understood the meaning of her birth, the wonderfulness of it and the feelings of a mourning mother that were bound to arise at the birth of a subsequent child. 

Elea has brought renewed joy into our lives, even Natey finds himself completely in love when he is not smacking her over the head 😉 However, it is completely normal for me to have feelings and thoughts of how it should have been, because in all honesty, I should have three children driving me crazy and making me want to pull out my hair. I know I can’t change anything but it is comforting to sync into each of my children. I will always be a mother of 3, I nourished 3 babies and birthed 3 children. 

The other day I had to run to the bank with Z and while there we bumped into an old friend. We struck up a conversation about our children and it was like music to my ears when she said, “so is three it or do you guys want anymore?” I seriously wanted to drop everything we were doing in that second, sob my sleepless eyes out while embracing her. I hope she reads this at some point and realizes that she not only made my day, she probably made my year (V, in my virtual reality I totally put the baby down, hugged you and cried). In my zombied out reality though, time simply moved forward. 

Life isn’t fair, someone recently reminded me this week. And while these three words struck a chord with me, I realize, although true, many are the times we can make a bad situation better if we so choose to. It really comes down to the way we choose to see it and the way we choose to react.

xoxo