My fingers had pressed the button and before I knew it I was yelling it out for all to hear, “YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHE BAG!!!” and I would have probably continued had it not been for the little voice coming from the back seat, ” Mommy, that is not very nice”.

Oh man.

So let me give you some back story before you think I was completely in the wrong here. We pulled up to the gas station and like civilized people, we pull up behind the cars that are waiting their turn to fill up with gas. Mind you, we have both kids in the car and we are driving back from church on our way to a friends house for lunch. Along comes Mr. I Don’t Care, against traffic and snuggles right into the number five pump. The pump we were pulling up to. I put up my arms to show him the line behind us and he gives me a hand gesture clearly signifying, I don’t care. My blood boils, the window rolls down, and it is out of my mouth before I can blink.

 

Patience has never been a virtue of mine. It is very difficult for me to hold my tongue when something is clearly wrong or unkind. But I have 100% improved and managed to be wiser with my words and have gotten proficient at counting to 10 and breathing in and out for the sake of my children and my marriage. I would even go as far as saying, you would think patience was one of my strengths now! I can’t even remember the last time I lost my temper since I have been married. Holy moly! Patience is definitely one of Eric’s strengths and he has done a marvelous job of being the example I need to see every day. But on Sunday, I lost it. I was so shocked by my own actions, I was shaking and paid the price for my actions (immediate headache all day). I had to apologize to Nate for showing him something he shouldn’t do. I explained that mommy was out of hand and why I had gotten so upset. I also gave him examples of what mommy could have done to express her anger.

 

 

Then I thought to myself (all day, practically) how I allowed myself to get so crazy. And how thankful I was that the other driver wasn’t a maniac. In a world where so much craziness exists, there is really no reason for me to allow someone else’s actions to affect my day. Kindness (in my experience), whether it is returned or not, will always (eventually) bring out the best in most.

BE KIND.

We can always be better human beings. Every day I hope to be better than the day before. I hope to teach my children kindness through words and my actions. I want to show them to be kind. To show love. And we all need reminders. So instead of beating myself up for my crazy actions on Sunday, I will choose to see it as a wake up call to remind myself that I can be better and have plenty of room for improvement.

xo,

Karla