It has been so long since my last post. Life without my mother has been trying. My mother was a beautiful woman, full of joy, good sayings, and texted me almost every day with an encouraging message that always seemed to be exactly what my soul needed.

She didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. She didn’t encourage me by filling me with empty words. She told me when I was wrong and always told me how I could be better. I didn’t have to ask her, she always provided her two cents, even when she knew I rather not hear it. Without being aware, my mother was molding me into a person who never becomes complacent. She wanted me to strive to be better, not necessarily the best, just not the same as the day before.

I don’t know where I stand today. I can’t tell you that I don’t have those days when everything feels so heavy and all I want to do is embrace my Mami. I can’t tell you my heart is not broken, still. I can’t tell you that the joy I experience today, will ever be the same as the joy experienced when she was still on earth. BUT, I can tell you that I have taken baby steps forward and that I am not standing still.

Every day I strive to be patient with my heart, to be gentle with my needs, and therefore kind to those around me. I found in these several months, that if I don’t check in with myself first thing in the morning and ask Jesus to help my heart be kind, it is easy to let disappointment and sadness overtake your day.

Your situation may be different, but your attitude and heart towards everything, is your choice. No event in your life can decide your response. It can’t tell you to be bitter. It can’t hold you back from growing. It can’t place you on permanent hold. You hold the answer to your situation. I stood still, and although my steps forward can be considered minuscule, I am no longer standing still.

XO