It was July 23rd, Nathan was due the 19th, I was humongous, tired and ready to have a baby in the nursery I had so carefully designed and put together myself. We had taken all the lamaze classes, we had written out our birth plan, and I had read every book on birthing a child. I was ready for the contractions to start far apart and for them to gradually get stronger and closer together, at which point we would head to the hospital and have a baby. It should’ve been very straight forward but it wasn’t, who could’ve known! 😉 I blame my lamaze instructor but then again maybe I only listened to what I wanted to believe would happen.
So here is what really happened…
It was a hot summer day, I was sipping water from a huge 32 ounce plastic cup and trying to figure out why my stomach didn’t feel too well. My sister DeeDee was over with O, keeping me company just in case Natey decided to come. My family had been on rotation, never leaving me alone. It was about 4 o’clock when they decided to head out as nothing was happening and Z was on his way home. I waved goodbye as I sipped a berry blend Z had bought me weeks prior. I curled up on the couch and within seconds I felt my stomach contracting. Now let me stop here. If you’ve never had a baby before this I must explain. A contraction is hard to explain but it kind of feels like squeezing your hand, if you do it hard enough it begins to feel uncomfortable.
It got worse, more intense, within seconds my breathing intensified and I tried to remember my breathing exercises. Z walked in, I was hunched over the couch, doing an angry cat pose. I had held up pretty well, breathing in and out but as soon as I saw Z I bursted into tears. He cuddled me and breathed with me reminding me of what I needed to do in order to bring our baby into this world. We went from 7 minute apart contractions to 1 minute apart, lasting about a minute in a half to two. Now this may not seem like a long time, but let me tell you, as the contraction hits you, time stops and it decides to count seconds like this M I S S I S S I P P I O N E. I can’t even explain how bad it feels. I’ve described it as feeling like you’ve been placed on the rack, so while your limbs are being pulled apart someone is also being nice enough to beat you with a bat. Gruesome. But please keep in mind that every labor is different, this is simply what mine felt like.
We tried to stay home as long as we could (being turned away twice already) but ten hours seemed enough pain and suffering. We drove to the hospital and at 3 am I was only 2 centimeters dilated! I almost passed out knowing I still had 8 centimeters to go! The hospital (most of them anyway) won’t take you in unless you’re at least 4 centimeters, but they decided to admit me at 6am being that my contractions were extremely severe. Z never left my side, helping me breath in and out, rubbing tennis balls against my lower back to no avail. The nurses didn’t know what to say to me other than it was going to be over soon and once I saw him it wouldn’t seem that bad.
They moved me to a bigger room where we awaited the time to begin to push but it never came. I felt contractions come and go but no real urge to push. When I was checked in I was assigned a nurse that would stay with me throughout the entire time I would be there. I don’t remember her name now but I know exactly what she wore, pink dangling earrings, a pink puffy hair tie, no make up other than black eyeliner and a bit of non-sparkling blush, a pair of white keds that went perfectly with her light blue scrubs and latex gloves. She began to massage the walls of my birthing channel and although it didn’t hurt I definitely felt pressure. She then said we were going to begin to practice our pushing, with Z on my right side, the nurse in front of my wide open legs, my mom and DeeDee on my far right front, we began to push. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10, one more time, hold, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Pushing while holding your breath doesn’t sound that hard but it’s probably one of the hardest things of birthing, in my opinion. I pushed and pushed to no avail. I saw one additional nurse walk in, then another, then there were a total of 4. I knew something wasn’t going the way it was supposed to but all I could focus on was pushing and Z wouldn’t allow me to focus on anything else.
The Doctor said everything was ok, not to worry that the nurses were there to help me push. I had one nurse on each side of my belly putting pressure on my stomach (literally pushing with all their might, or at least it felt like it), Z holding my neck and upper back, my main nurse lubbing me up, and the Doctor calling out all the instructions, a long with an emergency nurse that stood by the door. Just when I felt like I was going to pass out from the pressure on my belly ( I literally starting seeing white and black dots) everyone yelled out. Nathan Alexander Zurbrugg was here. Z and I could do nothing but cry at how beautiful he was and how quickly he latched on and began to nurse. His eyes were wide open and he said hello to all the nurses with warm baby pee 🙂 His cry was music to my ears and my body felt numb.
Nathan weighed 8 pounds .9 ounces and was 21 inches long. I had had a great pregnancy, was running up until my seventh month, was hiking a week before birth and was walking at least an hour every day but labor, I have learned, has little correlation with how well you cared for yourself throughout the pregnancy (at least in predicting what kind of birthing experience you’ll have). I was a very fit mommy, I gained only the necessary and was extremely active, but my experience was exactly that, my experience. I will say that I do believe my healthy pregnancy helped me recover extremely fast and shed the weight pretty quickly.
So on this day, 365 days after Nathan’s birth, I will say that I would do it all over again in a second. Natey is my world. He is the child that I couldn’t have imagined. He is everything. From his little tantrums to his priceless smile, he completes me.
Happy Birthday my beautiful little prince. Tu mami te ama!
Confessions of a Wife, Mother & Cook 
