The truth is there are a thousand shades of gray, blue, pink, you name it, you have choices, just go to Home Depot and try asking for gray. I haven’t read the book but I’ve been told about its content, given what I know, I’m not headed that way with this post. Perspectives, this is what I’m going to write about. My husband always says that the way you choose to look at things that happen in life determines what type of result you will go through in that given situation. I also recently read the same kind of message from a book my father in law gave me for Christmas,  Life’s Greatest Lessons: 20 Things That Matter by Hal Urban, teacher turned writer. I’m not finished with the book yet but he does make some very interesting points on the way you choose to look at things and how those decisions lead you, in essence, to better or worse.

I completely understand this concept, it’s like Friedrich Nietzsche’s argument on truth, there is no truth since its based on a perspective, so you can technically say there is no truth outside of a perspective. Ok, so before I go into an in depth study of Nietzsche (flashbacks of my Rhetoric classes as an undergrad at Berkeley) I will get on with it. Today I was told I was choosing to see a certain situation at its worse, this coming from my positive outlook on life husband. After I hung up the phone, I thought really hard about it, I even dreamed about it and then the light bulb came on, he was wrong in this situation and so was Hal Urban. Well maybe not completely wrong, but I’ll explain.

What is to say that something truly negative happens, yes you can still look at it from a positive perspective (lessons learned, what not to do again, what to do differently in the future…I get it) but does that then make the antagonist’s actions forgotten, simply overlooked, forgiven…you should forgive when possible, by all means I’m all for it, but I feel as though in my situation the antagonist is getting a jail free card and somehow I’m the one feeling bad about it now! Something isn’t right.

To clarify, Urban doesn’t simply say to forget and move on, but that’s what my husband told me to do and though I initially thought he was right, he is wrong. The actions committed (they aren’t serious by any means but I felt light should be shed on the issue) were still insensitive and the antagonist should take responsibility instead of trying to turn the tables and make the victim feel as if her feelings are unjustified.

So there, I’ve said my peace and I hope my husband can see it too.

Today I got some bad news. I knew immediately before anything was said that the news wasn’t going to be good news. As he started to tell me what I had a hunch was going to be said (hints here and there weeks prior), I immediately wanted to start crying and walk out of the living room. But I didn’t. I stayed and played it cool even though my eyes immediately watered, my face felt as though it was burning and what felt like a gulf ball had formed in my throat. If you’ve ever experienced this ball in your throat sensation you know very well that once the feeling is there, you’re probably not going to say anything unless you are prepared to sound like you’re about to have a breakdown. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably start crying because you won’t be able to hold back.

This has been a problem since I was a little girl. I would cry over being pushed by my older sister, if my brother teased me excessively, or if someone spoke to me too harshly. It was normal to see me cry in my household, yet it hardly had the effect I wanted it to have because I did it almost every day! Thankfully I am no longer so sensitive but every now and then I’ll let it out.

Today would have been one of those days where tears were very justified but I held back (I was very proud of myself!), only to realize that it really only made me feel worse. Natey was up almost all night yesterday so I got very little sleep last night. After the bad news conversation was had I put Natey down for a nap and  snuggled right next to him deciding that I too needed a nap. I woke up to DD picking up Natey as he cried next to me letting me know he was unhappy 🙂 In hindsight I’m glad I didn’t say anything. I avoided swollen eyes ( I get them every time I cry!), had time to think about what I felt and how I’m going to let him know that it’s truly not ok, although I stated otherwise. 

The conversations ended with him embracing me, kissing me, telling me he loved me, and asking me not to be mad. I’m not mad, I know he loves me and I appreciate him talking to me but I’m devastated. So as I write this post tonight, watching Natey sleep and missing Z (he’s out of town for the weekend), I’m glad everything unfolded the way it did. Not everything went according to plan but I did have it in me to maintain my composure when it felt like the walls around me were crumbling down.

To better days 🙂

…Or so I thought. Today in my mommy and me class I finally had the courage to ask the dreaded question, “Is anyone else losing their hair?” to which more than half of the mommy’s responded to immediately. It was as if I placed the television on mute and turned it off as soon as I was done asking my question.

My friend Adri told me to read a book called The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy: Or Everything Your Doctor Won’t Tell You by Vicki Iovine when I told her I was pregnant. The book does a very good job of talking about things that no one tells you about either because they don’t remember or simply because their embarrassed. Having read the book I thought I was pretty prepared for everything that was to come, and thus far the book has done well by me until a couple weeks ago when my hair started to fall out. I know what you’re thinking (my hair falls out all the time Karla, it’s normal ) yes, it is, but post-pregnancy (not if you’re one of the lucky few) you will shed worse than a dog.

Disgusting. I know. But I wanted you to see. I rolled the hair into a ball to make it visible to the camera. This is not even a days worth of hair, this is hair loss from a 5 minute shower! I feel like a baby with the amount of baby hair I have. I even have bangs now due to all the hair that is coming in. So there, I’ve said it and now you know what to expect if you ever have a baby. I was hesitant to blog about it because I didn’t want everyone looking at my head but it would’ve been nice to know prior, it would’ve saved me a lot of stress thinking I was malnutritioned.

Have a good night 🙂

Meet Maggie Zurbrugg-Johnson 🙂 She was born February 2012, and joined our family in March 2012.  Although massive, Maggie is still a puppy so as you may have guessed she is quite the wild child. She greets everyone with a huge hug, launching an entire 60 pounds on you while she kisses you all over.

She was one of six puppies, the biggest of them all but the saddest of them, laying next to her siblings, missing her mother and that’s what made her so cute! Luckily she came home with the best parents a dog could ever ask for, Grosi (grandma in Swiss-German) and grandpa Steve.

Maggie starts her day off every day with a run with her mommy, running 45 minutes around town, which soothes her for about 2 hours before she is up and actively looking for trouble. She has destroyed expensive phones, shoes, hats, all her dog beds, a jacuzzi cover, chairs, tables, baby toys, all her toys, hoses, gutters, a water fountain gifted to Grosi for a birthday…and her latest victim, Natey’s orchid. Natey was given an orchid the day he was born and up until a couple days ago, the orchid was still alive ( well not exactly, I forgot to water it and it was nearing death, Grosi came to the rescue as the plant whisperer that she is and began her work to bring this orchid back to its normal state, mind you she is extremely good at this).

The good news is that Maggie is now in obedient school, getting some one on one training and thus far, she is well on her way to becoming a tad less wild. So you can see why you wouldn’t overlook such a puppy, she yearns for everyone’s love and attention. Well, Natey didn’t care for Maggie until Sunday, when he discovered Maggie was part of our family. There really isn’t much to this post other than this super cute video I wanted to share. I hope you enjoy listening to Natey’s giggles as much as we enjoyed watching him discover his soon to be best friend.

My phone rang last Monday, I answered, “Karla, you have to go outside, its the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.”  My phone rang Tuesday, I answered, “Karla, you have to go outside, its the most beautiful sunset ever.” I looked out my window on Wednesday, out in the middle of the street I saw my father in law capturing the most beautiful sunset he had ever seen. My father in law and his camera are like peas in a pod, they are always together. The sunsets, along with thousands of items surrounding us, be it a plant, the way a calendar looks hung a certain angle or the way the sun hits the building across the street, they are all art pieces as seen through the eyes of my father in law. He is passionate about everything he captures and deleting a picture from his camera is like taking one of his children away.

 

On Wednesday I went to the LA Art Show in downtown LA. It was the premiere party for the opening night of historic, modern and contemporary art. You knew walking in that you were surrounded by artists by all the different pieces of clothing everyone was wearing, from a paper bag necklace to a silk prom dress with a tail. The Southwest wing of the convention center had all the sculptures. Scary. It was as if I had walked into the made up world of Guillermo del Torro’s Pan’s Labyrinth. Enough said. But there was also art that I found breathtaking like the painting below, part of the Tibet Pure Child series by Li GuangLi, Trustwin Inc. from Beijing China. When I look at this painting I feel like I’m looking into this baby’s soul.

Tibet Pure Child

So it is true, the old cliche, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, especially when it comes to art. Then the next question is how do you put a price on what you believe to be beauty? How do you place value on what you deem important and how do you get everyone else, or at least a niche of people, to see the monetary value you have given your item. For example, this door, or what appeared to be some kind of door, to me, did not look to be painted with half of the intensity that the Tibetan child was painted with. But how do I know this? I don’t. Grey Painting #6 by Tom Kirby may have been painted with just the same amount of intensity but what’s coming through when I see this door is no emotion. I feel cold and alone. But this is my interpretation.

Tom Kirby

So maybe I should look outside more often when my father in law tells me to check out the sunset. After all, life is a series of events bound in a book, each one of us decides what we put in it and that’s how we form our memories.

Check out the LA Art Show, it will definitely give you something to think about.

Happy art shopping 😉

This Thursday Natey turns 6 months and will be having his second pizza party. He had a pizza party when he turned 1 month but he didn’t quite make it to the party, at all, he slept through the entire thing. My mom thought bringing him out to take pictures with the cake was mean and the little newborn should have been left in his crib, doing what he enjoyed best, sleeping. Looking back, I’m glad I took the pictures, he looks so funny and cute.

It seems like just yesterday he was in my tummy, growing, growing and growing. And now he is doing the same thing but we can all see. Natey has done a lot considering the short amount of time he has been around. He started swimming when he was 3 1/2 months old, going under water and diving even though this little one couldn’t even sit without assistance.

We’re learning how to sign so we attend a sign through dance class which he really enjoys. He is in love with his teacher and smiles and giggles at her the entire time we are there. She is quite the catch, she plays several different instruments, including the piano and drums, Natey’s favorites, and lets Nathan play the piano as she serenades him good bye. I guess I would be in love as well.

We celebrate at mommy, Jesus and me every other week, watching kites fly, hundreds of baby’s running around (ok, maybe its more like 30, still it feels like hundreds) while marching to a sister singing praises to the top of her lungs. On a weekly basis we also meet MB moms at a local elementary school, where we eat, play and talk to other mommy’s.

Yes, Natey has quite the schedule, but out of all the things we do, our favorite, hands down, is morning cuddling! We love to cuddle. All the time. Aunt DD gave Natey a book about cute monsters from planet dance, Natey loves it, we dance the entire time we are reading it. Some would say perhaps Natey and I too came from this world but please do not be mistaken, we are definitely from cuddle planet, we cuddle in the mornings as we lazily get out of bed, we cuddle before every nap throughout the day (3), after bath time, before bed time, and sometimes in the middle of the night (ok, ok, I also feed him at this time), but it’s cuddling that we love to do best, especially on the weekend when we get to cuddle with daddy.

I have many things to be grateful for, and a healthy, happy, cuddling baby is definitely at the very top of my list.
  

Happy Monday Everyone 🙂 

Needless to say we have moved on to carrot puree and the adult dish should have been a side of honey baked carrots. I made a few mistakes here, one I should’ve used more carrots. period. Two, I should’ve adjusted the recipe the moment I decided to modify the type and amount of carrots I was using. Three, when my mom, who happened to be over yesterday, said something smelled like it was burning, I should’ve gone over to the oven and looked inside, instead I replied with ” Really? I don’t smell anything” even though I have a slight cold and my nose is completely stuffed. Of course I don’t smell anything. 

Aside from having to throw almost all of them away, I was able to salvage some and boy did they taste delicious! Assuming you are unlike me and make this side dish, you are in for a splendid surprise. Natey doesn’t have a say quite yet as he doesn’t start the carrot puree until Sunday.

Natey is currently eating Butternut Squash which I am happy to report has made his poopy a lot easier to deliver ( the baby cereal was making him a bit constipated ). I pureed the Squash a couple days ago and made roasted chicken breasts with herbed wine sauce. The recipe called for 3 tablespoons of white wine but I went with a glass of wine and more of the suggested spices. In almost every recipe I have ever followed there seems to lack sauce, so I always use more that the suggested quantity to ensure I have extra should I need it. The dish was very good and the Squash tasted like fries, except you didn’t feel guilty about having so many of them 🙂

Happy cooking everyone!

“Just listen to me!” I shouted at my sister today without realizing the depth of the word listen. In hindsight, I was frustrated as I felt my voice wasn’t being heard, but I too wasn’t listening to my sister. See listening goes  beyond the spoken word. A person speaks just as loud through their actions (arguably louder), as they do their voice. Most of us have heard the cliché “actions speak louder than words” and have probably even said it to someone but most people don’t listen, they only hear.

It’s like that new I Phone commercial with the orchestra playing in the background. All the world around you continues as you make a phone call and with the push of a button, the phone mutes out everything but your conversation.

A few days ago my sister was over and said some very insightful things to me. She said something that stood out the most from our entire conversation when she told me to simply try my best at being the best mother, sister, wife, etc., I could be, and in doing so I would be the best because my best is all I can give. A very simple idea yet so hard to put into play because so many of us get caught up in life and begin to just get by, by doing the minimum. It’s like having a job you really dislike but you need the income so you won’t quit and you’ll do just enough not to get fired…I know because I had one and it’s awful.

So how are these two things related, yelling at my sister and trying to be the best at everything I do, especially my most important roles in life. Simple. They all entail listening. Had I listened today instead of demanding it so loudly, the conversation would have gone very differently. Moving forward I want to be an active listener, more like the I Phone, so as I watch Natey sleep through the baby monitor propped up right next to me, I make a promise to myself and my loved ones, especially my sister, that I too will listen. I love you Bella.