It was July 23rd, Nathan was due the 19th, I was humongous, tired and ready to have a baby in the nursery I had so carefully designed and put together myself. We had taken all the lamaze classes, we had written out our birth plan, and I had read every book on birthing a child. I was ready for the contractions to start far apart and for them to gradually get stronger and closer together, at which point we would head to the hospital and have a baby. It should’ve been very straight forward but it wasn’t, who could’ve known! 😉 I blame my lamaze instructor but then again maybe I only listened to what I wanted to believe would happen.

So here is what really happened…

It was a hot summer day, I was sipping water from a huge 32 ounce plastic cup and trying to figure out why my stomach didn’t feel too well. My sister DeeDee was over with O, keeping me company just in case Natey decided to come. My family had been on rotation, never leaving me alone. It was about 4 o’clock when they decided to head out as nothing was happening and Z was on his way home. I waved goodbye as I sipped a berry blend Z had bought me weeks prior. I curled up on the couch and within seconds I felt my stomach contracting. Now let me stop here. If you’ve never had a baby before this I must explain. A contraction is hard to explain but it kind of feels like squeezing your hand, if you do it hard enough it begins to feel uncomfortable.

It got worse, more intense, within seconds my breathing intensified and I tried to remember my breathing exercises. Z walked in, I was hunched over the couch, doing an angry cat pose.  I had held up pretty well, breathing in and out but as soon as I saw Z I bursted into tears. He cuddled me and breathed with me reminding me of what I needed to do in order to bring our baby into this world. We went from 7 minute apart contractions to 1 minute apart, lasting about a minute in a half to two. Now this may not seem like a long time, but let me tell you, as the contraction hits you, time stops and it decides to count seconds like this M I S S I S S I P P I  O N E. I can’t even explain how bad it feels. I’ve described it as feeling like you’ve been placed on the rack, so while your limbs are being pulled apart someone is also being nice enough to beat you with a bat. Gruesome. But please keep in mind that every labor is different, this is simply what mine felt like.

We tried to stay home as long as we could (being turned away twice already) but ten hours seemed enough pain and suffering. We drove to the hospital and at 3 am I was only 2 centimeters dilated! I almost passed out knowing I still had 8 centimeters to go! The hospital (most of them anyway) won’t take you in unless you’re at least 4 centimeters, but they decided to admit me at 6am being that my contractions were extremely severe. Z never left my side, helping me breath in and out, rubbing tennis balls against my lower back to no avail. The nurses didn’t know what to say to me other than it was going to be over soon and once I saw him it wouldn’t seem that bad.

The Doctor said everything was ok, not to worry that the nurses were there to help me push. I had one nurse on each side of my belly putting pressure on my stomach (literally pushing with all their might, or at least it felt like it), Z holding my neck and upper back, my main nurse lubbing me up, and the Doctor calling out all the instructions, a long with an emergency nurse that stood by the door. Just when I felt like I was going to pass out from the pressure on my belly ( I literally starting seeing white and black dots) everyone yelled out. Nathan Alexander Zurbrugg was here. Z and I could do nothing but cry at how beautiful he was and how quickly he latched on and began to nurse. His eyes were wide open and he said hello to all the nurses with warm baby pee 🙂 His cry was music to my ears and my body felt numb.

Nathan weighed 8 pounds .9 ounces and was 21 inches long. I had had a great pregnancy, was running up until my seventh month, was hiking a week before birth and was walking at least an hour every day but labor, I have learned, has little correlation with how well you cared for yourself throughout the pregnancy (at least in predicting what kind of birthing experience you’ll have). I was a very fit mommy, I gained only the necessary and was extremely active, but my experience was exactly that, my experience. I will say that I do believe my healthy pregnancy helped me recover extremely fast and shed the weight pretty quickly.

So on this day, 365 days after Nathan’s birth, I will say that I would do it all over again in a second. Natey is my world. He is the child that I couldn’t have imagined. He is everything. From his little tantrums to his priceless smile, he completes me.

        

So we’re at the beach (Lido) as I write, after having walked for six hours learning about Venice’s naval forces that enabled it to stay in power during its prime time. We also explored one of its main palaces (Ducale) set right in the center of Saint Mark Square. Everything was pretty cool except for the no picture rule everywhere we went. 

        

The coolest thing I saw today has probably been this little boat full of fresh food to be delivered to the neighboring hotel this morning. The amount of water traffic this morning was insane as everyone headed to work on this beautiful monday morning.

Eric has been carrying our passports around and this morning I made a point of storing them in the safe. Not so smart. We walked all the way to the main square only to have to walk all the way back to the hotel since we didn’t have any sort of ID to exchange for the audio tour system. They wouldn’t take any other sort of ID. Having to walk back and forth took a total of an extra hour of our time. But it wasn’t the time I was upset about, it was the walking. My right ankle is a bit swollen from the amount of walking and tripping I have been doing for about a week now. After moping and Z being a bit upset, we made it back to the palace without any other surprises. 

It has been extremely hot here the last couple days. Any walking in excess of 5 minutes has you drenched in sweat. I started this post a day ago and am finishing it now in the middle of this little plaza, having a little lunch, awaiting our time to board our ship that will take us to Pula, Croatia. 

        

We took a gondola ride thiis morning. I didn’t have the ipad so no pictures until we get back home but it was really nice. 

       

You can really see how much the water is rising and the damage its causing to all the homes. Most homes have vacant first floors because the water gets through every time it rises. Our driver showed us how with a little bit of force, the walls simply crumble away. Pretty interesting stuff. 

         

Here we are on a boat (in the US it would be a a bus). They work exactly how buses work back home. Although very nice and fun the first couple times, they are always hot and crowded. You literally sweat about 5 pounds every time. Definitely a fun experience. 

                          

                                   

This is the view if you are lucky enough to stand or sit outside. This I took early in the evening so it was pretty empty. That little island you see there is very cool, you can go up the tower and get a picture of the entire city. Below is what the city looks like from the tower. 

         

The trip thus far has been perfect. Everything has been beautiful and the quality time I’ve spent with my wonderful husband has been awesome BUT not a second has gone by when Natey has not been on my mind. Natey is staying with Grosi in Switzerland, playing in beautiful green pastures, cruising through farms, making all kinds of jams and storing fresh honey with Grosi, not to mention playing with his cousins. I am, however, very happy we didn’t bring him. Nothing we have really done has been baby friendly. The transit system here is not very baby friendly, and any luggage is limited to one item per guest (Natey alone had 3). There are stairs everywhere and no stroller, as good as they are, would do well here. Our constant moving about between cities would have been horrible for him, especially the train system. So I don’t regret my decision but it has been hard on Z. He has had to constantly tell me how Nathan would have been unhappy. If, however, you decide to bring your baby here, definitely bring your carrier (Ergo) or make sure your baby is walking already. It would also be better if you stay in one city versus moving around every couple days. 

The breakdown 

So a couple days ago after speaking to Nathan (more like me talking to him and listening to him giggle), I was extremely sad and unable to function. I returned to our room where I prepared myself a bath, got in and sobbed. I cried and cried until I couldn’t even gasp for air. Z walked in. He tried his best to console me but I just needed to let it out. I pulled myself together and finished my bath. Surprisingly I felt a thousand times better. I thought about all the pros and cons and how Nathan would feel and came to the conclusion that I had made the best decision. I miss my little love bug so much and frankly cannot wait to hold him in my arms but in the meantime I’m going to enjoy the time I have with my love, Z. 

                                

       

Sweet dreams everyone 🙂

    

 

         

It’s 10:27 and Natey just fell asleep. We’ve been in the air 3 hours and needless to say Natey was tired as his bed time is usually any time between 7 and 8pm. But there was too much going on. While waiting to board Natey attracted a group of 7 Italian girls who literally surrounded him and played catch. While waiting for the plane to get ready to go, we surprised him with a new toy, a baby set of keys! WOW! It felt like christmas! At least I know that’s what I would’ve thought. But he quickly tired of all our magic tricks and was into this couple that was flirting up a storm a couple seats down from us. It was pretty entertaining to Nathan as the woman laughed out loud (seriously LOUD) every couple seconds. The flight attendants went crazy over Natey, setting him up with a nice bassinet (he was too big for it but he snuggled right in once he had fallen asleep). 

Dinner was served and Natey attacked the bread and cheese, in addition to gobbling down all our mashed potatoes (one of his favorites). He took down what I calculate to be 6 to 8 ounces of milk (breast milk) and was annoyed at the beaming lights and limited leg space ( I was trying to rock him in place 😉 ) . He began to let everyone know he was on the flight, and while he cried he rejoiced in everyones attention laughing in between sad faces. Z walked him in the aisle and after a good fight, the little prince closed his eyes. 

Wine bottles were ordered, Z’s video games came on, my ipad lit up my face and I began to do my favorite thing, blog. As I write this we have 8 more hours to go. I hope we all get some sleep but I may end up with entertaining content for you 🙂 ciao ciao for now!